We are in the full swing of binge-watching Hallmark Christmas movies. Like many, this is my guilty pleasure and it’s one that I take very seriously. I love watching the new movies, but there are some oldies but goodies that are a must-watch every year. And, the movies are not just on the Hallmark Channel. There are some heartfelt flicks on the Hallmark Movies & Mysteries Channel and Lifetime also has a library worth watching. So, I have a strategy to maximize the Christmas movie watching, especially since the DVR only has so much capacity. Every year, I combine the schedules for all three channels and create my own schedule which lists out by the hour the movies that are airing each day (starting on Thanksgiving and ending on Christmas Day). This way I can track when I need to record a movie, especially if its not airing again. Crazy? Absolutely. But it’s incredibly efficient.
Being an avid watcher, I have also become a bit of a Hallmark/Lifetime Christmas movie expert and I have learned a few life lessons from watching these movies.
1. If you go back to your hometown for Christmas, you will mostly likely fall in love with your old boyfriend. Prior to coming home, you were perfectly fine without your ex. You weren’t even thinking about him because you were dating someone else who is lovely. But, once you hit that hometown air – everything changes. The current boyfriend is old news. You forget all the reasons why you originally broke up with your ex (e.g., he didn’t support your desire to live in the big city, you were total opposites who wanted different things out of life, etc.) and fall in love all over again. Even though both of you haven’t changed, it will all work out now. It also helps that you decided to leave the big city and remain in your hometown despite the fact that it has been your dream to leave since you were a teenager.
2. It’s absolutely ok to cheat on one’s current boyfriend/girlfriend. 90% of all Christmas cable movies have at least one person in a committed relationship that will end. Granted, no one is having sex and you only kiss your new love at the end after he/she has dumped the boyfriend/girlfriend. However, technically what is happening is way worse because he/she is emotionally cheating and falling in love. It’s all ok because the person they are dumping is typically a horrible (or boring) person. This also doesn’t make you question the integrity of your new love or wonder why they dated someone this horrible (or boring) in the first place. You certainly don’t think he/she could cheat on or dump you in the future. That never happens (except it just did).
3. There are a lot of attractive widowed/single fathers raising children who can’t wait to have stepmothers. These kids are absolute perfection and can’t wait for their dads to marry someone new. There is never any resentment about whether this new woman is replacing their dead or estranged mother and stealing their father away from them. Instead, they welcome their potential new moms with open arms.
4. Every small town holds an expensive Christmas parade/festival. I have no clue how they manage the budget but they seem to pull it off ever year. But, it also helps that 9 times out of 10, Santa also lives in this town. However, instead of making toys he is typically meddling in people’s love lives.
5. Leaving your high-paying job to be a baker or artist will result in no problems. Don’t worry about paying off student loans or finding collateral to get a small business loan. Follow your dreams blindly and without caution.
6. If you are flying home for Christmas, your flight will 100% be grounded due to weather. Don’t worry, you will meet a complete stranger and you will have no qualms about sharing a rental car or a hotel room with him as both of you travel back home. It’s not like you are setting yourself up to be murdered or something.
7. It is ok to date your boss. Forget all the HR violations that would happen if you were involved in your boss. Forget the fact that your co-workers would resent you and claim that you are receiving preferential treatment. There is nothing wrong with dating the boss. That being said, you will not be with your boss for long. You will mostly likely dump him because you will fall back in love with your ex-boyfriend when you go back to home for the holidays. However, dumping your boss will have absolutely no impact on your career since he will take being dumped like champ.
8. You will find the man of your dreams in 3 to 5 days. Let’s ignore the fact that you probably have been dating for past 12-20 years and have never found Mr. Right. You will meet the man of your dreams during the week before Christmas and this guy will be all-in. No commitment-phobes here. I mean, yes, he was afraid of commitment when he was dating the woman that he just dumped you for. But that’s over now. You are different and it’s Christmas.
9. Accidentally bumping into, falling down, or spilling coffee on a stranger will result in love at first sight. Oh ladies, if it could only be that easy.
10. There is a very high chance that the “regular joe,” whom you have been dating for the past 6 months, is actually a prince of a country that no one has ever heard of. And yet, everyone in the country has British accents. I mean it’s not like there’s something called Google where you can completely learn everything there is to know about a person. And, quite frankly, you should have Google-stalked your boyfriend by the 2nd date. Regardless, his big reveal will be a surprise to you, your friends, and family because no one uses the Internet.
Ok, so these movies are unrealistic (and I haven’t even touched upon the ones that involve a wish, magic, or time travel). But, this is why we love them and it’s why we keep on watching them. So enjoy them blindly and don’t think about reality.
If you are new to the Christmas movie watching, you have time to get in the game. Here are my top 10 movies to get your started:
1. Dear Santa (Lifetime, but also on Netflix)
2. Crown for Christmas (Hallmark – best of the royalty movies in my opinion)
3. Annie Claus is Coming to Town (Hallmark)
4. Christmas Under Wraps (Hallmark)
5. A Shoe Addict’s Christmas (Hallmark)
6. A Very Merry Mix-Up (Hallmark)
7. The Road to Christmas (Lifetime version from 2006 with Jennifer Grey and Clark Gregg, it’s also cute that they are married in real life)
8. A Cookie Cutter Christmas (Hallmark)
9. A December Bride (Hallmark)
10. Snow Bride (Hallmark)
Categories: Christmas Movies, Romantic Comedies
Tags: Christmas Movies, Hallmark Channel, Lifetime Channel
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